BRONCO DELUXE 700 SHEET ROLL

2 Privates and a Lieutenant from the 101st are making their way back behind friendly lines.

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As they walk along side a briar patch the lead Trooper hears groaning in the patch.

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PVT 1 (whispering): "Sir I see somebody in there moving. Must be a Kraut! He's wearing camo. His rifle is against a tree. Should I shoot 'em? I'm gonna let him have it!"

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LT (Quietly): "Hold on. We don't know if there's 50 of the SOBs in there. I don't like our odds if there is. Let me get out my phrase book."

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PVT: "I think he's taking a crap! He is taking a crap."

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PVT2: "He has no idea that we are here."

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LT (Yelling as he reads from his German Phrase Book): Kein Bewegung! (Don't move.) Wir sind amerikanische soldaten! (We are American Soldiers!)
VOICE FROM THE WOODS: "No speako Germano!"

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LT: Machen sie keine Geschicten! (Don't try any tricks.)
VOICE FROM THE WOODS: What??

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LT: Hande Hoch! (Raise your Hands.) Ergeben Sie sich! (Surrender) Wenn sie nicht Gehorehen. Schiesse ich! (obey or I'll fire!)
VOICE FROM THE WOODS: I'm American! I don't speak Nazi! I'm coming out. Leaving my rifle here!"
PVT 1: "He's pulling up his pants. I think it's a trick.
LT: "Hold on. You don't want to shoot a friendly."

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A soldier emerges from the woods.
"Don't shoot. Please for God sakes lower your weapons. I'm American. 2nd Armor Division."
PVT 1: "What the hell?"
PVT 2: "I'll be damned. What are you duck hunting?"
LT: "Keep your hands where I can see 'em!"

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"Private Joe Savage, 2nd Armor Division."

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LT: "I WILL be damned! You are an American. US Army too."

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"Can I put my hands down?"

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"My Company is just down the road around the bend. You guys literally scared the S*IT out of me! I think I'm still behind the lines?"

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PVT2: "If we didn't think we were close to friendly lines you would be toast. What's with the duck hunter camo?"

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LT: "Who cares about the uniform. Is that a glorious roll of Bronco Deluxe 700 sheet per roll toilet paper ? The only roll in France!!"

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2nd ARMOR PVT: "With all due respect I'll take that sir. If you wanted it you should have shot me. My buddies would not mourn my loss but if that roll don't make it back to HQ they will be mourning. And they will shoot me!"

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The German phrases I used came from the "German Phrase Book" shown above. It was published 11/30/1943.

Thanks for looking. Please let me know what you think. Slick

ha ha...
Pretty good stuff SLICK7...
Thanks for posting.

very cool. Love the setting

Every piece counts...!!
Very Nice Slick!

Thanks guys. Anybody that wants a German Phrase Book, send me a self addressed stamped envelope and I'll make one for you. Keep in mind that most of the pages are dummy pages.
Sid Maycock
103 Washington Ave.
Williamstown, NJ 08094 USA